Dating again, when you're ready

For some people, the idea of dating again comes quickly. For others, it takes years, or never feels like a priority. Both are completely fine. You don't owe anyone a new relationship, and you don't need to prove you've moved on.

If you are starting to feel curious, this guide covers the practical side: working out whether you're ready, keeping yourself safe, and handling the parts that are different when you've been married before.

How do I know if I'm ready to date?

No checklist can tell you for certain, but these questions might help:

• Are you looking for someone to share your life with, or someone to fill a gap or distract you from how you're feeling?
• Can you talk about your divorce without it taking over the conversation?
• Would you be dating for yourself, or to make your ex jealous or prove something to them?
• Do you feel reasonably settled in your own life: your home, your routine, your finances?
• If a date went badly, or you were turned down, could you shrug it off?

If the honest answer to some of those is "not yet", that's useful to know. It isn't a fail. It just means it might be worth focusing on yourself for a while longer. Our guide to life after divorce has more on rebuilding confidence.

There's also no legal reason to wait for the divorce to be final before you date. But if you're still sorting out finances or child arrangements, a new relationship can complicate negotiations and stir up feelings, so tread carefully and talk to your solicitor if you're unsure.

You don't have to be fully healed to date. But it helps to be dating for the right reasons.

Getting started

If you last dated before smartphones, things have changed. A few ideas:

• Try different ways of meeting people. Apps and websites are the obvious route, but clubs, classes, volunteering, walking groups and friends of friends all work too, and you get to know someone in a more natural setting.
• Be honest in your profile. Use recent photos and say what you're actually looking for. It saves time for everyone.
• Say you're divorced, simply and without the full story. Many people dating at your stage of life have been through something similar.
• Keep first dates short, like a coffee or a walk. It takes the pressure off.
• Expect some awkwardness. It's part of it, and you're not the only one feeling it.

Staying safe when you meet

• Meet in a public place for the first few dates, and make your own way there and back.
• Tell a friend where you're going, who you're meeting and when you expect to be home. Some people share their location for the evening.
• Keep personal details back at first, such as your home address, where your children go to school and details of your work.
• Do a basic check. It's reasonable to look someone up online or ask to video call before meeting.
• Trust your instincts. If something feels off, you can leave. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

If a new partner becomes controlling, jealous or frightening, that's a warning sign, not a sign of how much they care. In England and Wales, the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme, often called Clare's Law, lets you ask the police whether a partner has a history of abuse. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free and open 24 hours on 0808 2000 247, and in an emergency you should call 999 (GOV.UK).

Watch out for romance scams

Romance fraud is when a criminal builds a relationship online in order to get money. City of London Police reported more than £106 million lost to romance fraud in the UK in 2024/25, from 9,449 reports, with victims losing £11,222 each on average. People aged 50 to 59 lost the most in total (City of London Police).

Anyone can be targeted, and people going through a big life change can be especially vulnerable. Warning signs include someone who:

• declares strong feelings very quickly
• always has a reason they can't video call or meet in person
• wants to move the conversation off the dating app quickly
• has a sudden emergency, a business problem or travel costs, and asks for money, gift cards or cryptocurrency
• asks you to keep the relationship secret from friends and family

The simplest rule: never send money to someone you haven't met in person, however convincing the story. If you think you've been targeted, stop contact, tell your bank straight away, and report it to Report Fraud, the national reporting service run by City of London Police, online or on 0300 123 2040 (GOV.UK).

Dating when you have children

• Keep dating separate at first. There's no need for children to know about early dates.
• Wait before introductions until the relationship feels stable and you're confident it's going somewhere.
• Tell your co-parent before the children meet a new partner. They'll hear about it anyway, and it's better coming from you.
• Start small. A short, relaxed first meeting somewhere neutral is easier than a whole weekend together.
• Expect mixed reactions. Children may feel disloyal to their other parent, or hope you'll get back together. Give them time.

Our guide to how divorce works covers how children fit into the process, if you're still finalising arrangements.

Protecting your finances

Having been through a divorce, you'll know how tangled money can get. If a new relationship becomes serious:

• If you move in together, remember that cohabiting couples don't have the same legal rights as married ones. A cohabitation agreement and a declaration of trust on any property can protect you both.
• If you remarry, any spousal maintenance you receive from your ex will normally stop. And if you haven't yet got a financial order from your divorce, remarrying may stop you making certain claims, so get that sorted first.
• Think about a prenuptial agreement if you plan to marry again. Prenups aren't automatically binding in England and Wales, but courts can give them a lot of weight if they're fair and made properly.
• Update your will. Getting married usually cancels any existing will in England and Wales, so make a new one.

Going at your own pace

Dating after divorce can bring up old feelings you thought you'd dealt with. That's normal. If it starts to feel like too much, it's alright to stop for a while. If you'd like to talk things through, Relate offers counselling for individuals (Relate), and in England you can refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies (NHS). Samaritans are there any time on 116 123.

Common questions

Sources

1. City of London Police, A wrong turn on Love Lane: more than £106 million lost to romance fraud in the last year (June 2025)
2. GOV.UK, Report Fraud: new service from City of London Police
3. GOV.UK, Domestic abuse: how to get help
4. Relate
5. NHS, Find NHS Talking Therapies for anxiety and depression

Keep reading

This guide is general information about dating after divorce in England and Wales, not legal or financial advice. Speak to a qualified professional about your situation. Facts checked 1 October 2026.