Telling your employer about divorce

You don't have to tell your employer you're getting divorced or separating. There's no legal duty to, and what you share is up to you. Telling your line manager or HR can make it much easier to get time off for appointments, change your hours and get support if work becomes hard, so it's often worth a short, private conversation.

Solicitor calls, mediation, new childcare and sometimes a house move all land in working hours, often while you're sleeping badly. Employers see this more often than you'd think.

These rules apply in England, Scotland and Wales. Northern Ireland has its own employment law, which nidirect explains.

Day oneright to ask for flexible working, two requests in any 12 monthsAcas Code of Practice, 2024

18 weeksof unpaid parental leave for each child, up to their 18th birthdayGOV.UK, November 2026

£123.25a week Statutory Sick Pay, or 80% of your normal weekly earnings if that's lowerHMRC, from 6 April 2026

6 monthsto bring most employment tribunal claims, up from 3 months on 1 October 2026GOV.UK, November 2026

Deciding whether to tell work

It's your decision, and you can share as much or as little as you like. The main reason to say something is practical: it's easier to ask for time off or a change of hours when your manager knows why. Telling work can help if you:

need time off at short notice for solicitor or mediation appointments, or a hearing
want to change your hours or work from home around new childcare
are moving house and need to update your address, emergency contact or bank details
are finding it hard to concentrate, or have been off sick

If you'd rather keep it private, you can still book annual leave or make a flexible working request without going into detail.

Who to tell, and what to say

For most people, the best first step is a short, private word with your line manager. If that relationship is difficult, go to HR instead, or to a manager you trust.

Your line manager agrees day-to-day things like time off, workload and deadlines.
HR handles formal requests, policies on special or compassionate leave, and changes to your records.
Occupational health, if your employer has it, can advise on adjustments if your health is affected. You'd usually be referred by your manager or HR.

A few sentences are enough. Say what you need and who else should know. You could say:

"I wanted to let you know I'm going through a separation. I'm managing, but I'll have some appointments over the next few months. Can we agree how I book time for them?"
"I'm having a hard few weeks at home. I'd rather not go into detail, but I'd be grateful for some flexibility with deadlines for now."
"I'd prefer this stays between us and HR. If the team needs to know I'm away, can we just say it's a personal matter?"

Afterwards, a short email confirming what you agreed gives you both a record.

What your employer can share

What you tell your employer about your separation is personal information, and data protection law means it should only be shared with people who need it. In practice, that usually means HR, so they can put support in place, and not your colleagues.

Employers must follow the UK GDPR and the Data Protection Act 2018. The Information Commissioner's Office's employment guidance says information about your health, including stress or anxiety, needs extra care and should only be shared where there's a clear reason (ICO). It's reasonable to agree with your manager who will be told and what. If you think your information has been misused, raise it with your employer first. You can complain to the ICO if that doesn't resolve it.

Time off for appointments, court and emergencies

There's no legal right to paid or unpaid time off for a divorce or separation, including court hearings. Most people use annual leave, your employer's own leave policies, or one of the statutory rights below where it fits.

Right	What it covers	The rules
Annual leave	Planned appointments, mediation and court dates	Most people working five days a week get at least 28 days' paid leave a year. Give notice of at least twice the leave you want, unless your contract says otherwise. Your employer can refuse particular dates, with notice.
Time off for dependants	A genuine emergency involving a child or someone who depends on you, such as childcare falling through	A reasonable amount of time to deal with the emergency. Your employer doesn't have to pay you. It doesn't cover things you knew about in advance.
Unpaid parental leave	Time with your children, settling them into new childcare or looking at new schools	18 weeks for each child before they turn 18, normally up to 4 weeks a year per child, taken in whole weeks. Give 21 days' notice. A day-one right since 6 April 2026.
Your employer's policies	Anything else	Many employers offer compassionate, special or family leave, paid or unpaid. Check your contract, staff handbook or intranet.

Time off for dependants covers the emergency itself, such as finding other care when arrangements break down, not longer leave (GOV.UK). A hearing you've known about for weeks doesn't count, so book leave as soon as you have the date.

Unpaid parental leave used to need a year's service, but since 6 April 2026 it has been available from your first day (GOV.UK). You need to be named on the child's birth or adoption certificate or have parental responsibility (GOV.UK).

Asking for flexible working

Every employee can make a statutory request for flexible working from their first day in a job. That can mean changing your hours, your start and finish times, the days you work or where you work, which often matters when children start moving between two homes.

Under the Acas Code of Practice that applies to requests made since 6 April 2024 (Acas):

you can make two statutory requests in any 12-month period, and only one at a time
your request must be in writing and say it's a statutory request
your employer must consult you before refusing
your employer must decide, including any appeal, within two months of receiving it, unless you both agree to extend

Your employer can refuse for a good business reason (GOV.UK). It helps to explain how the work will still get done. Acas has a flexible working request letter template you can use. The government plans further changes to flexible working in October 2027.

If you're off sick

If stress, anxiety or low mood mean you can't work, you can take sick leave in the usual way. Tell your employer as early as you can, following its sickness policy, and see your GP if it goes on.

Fit notes. You need a fit note if you're off for more than 7 days in a row, counting non-working days (GOV.UK). Your employer's policy says what to provide for shorter absences.
Statutory Sick Pay. Since 6 April 2026, SSP is paid from your first full day off sick, and there's no minimum earnings level. It's £123.25 a week or 80% of your normal weekly earnings, whichever is lower, for up to 28 weeks (HMRC). Your contract may give you more.
Keeping in touch. Agree how you'll be contacted while you're off. After a long absence, occupational health can help plan your return.

If work starts to slip

If your concentration, performance or attendance are suffering, it's usually better to raise it yourself, early, than to wait for your manager to. A short conversation about what's going on and what would help puts the circumstances on record before anything becomes formal.

Ask to look at your workload for the next few weeks and agree a date to check in again. If a formal process starts, ask HR for the policy being used.

Many employers have an employee assistance programme. These usually offer free, confidential counselling by phone or online, and some include legal or money information too. Look on the intranet or ask HR for the number. Some employers also offer divorcd membership as part of staff support; how divorcd works with employers explains it.

If you're struggling to cope, talk to your GP, or call Samaritans any time, free, on 116 123.

Changes to give HR

Several work records may need updating when you separate. Give HR the changes as soon as you can.

Address and emergency contact, if your ex is still listed.
Bank account, if your salary goes into a joint account.
Name, if you're changing it.
Pension and life cover nominations. Update who should benefit if you die, so your ex isn't still named unless you want them to be or a court order says so. Our after-divorce checklist lists the other records to change.

Child maintenance through payroll. The Child Maintenance Service can send your employer a deduction from earnings order. That can happen if you choose to pay from your wages, or if payments are missed, late or too low. Your employer must then make regular deductions and send them to the service (GOV.UK). Payroll handles it, and your line manager doesn't need to know. Our child maintenance guide explains how payments are worked out.

If your ex contacts or turns up at work

If your ex is calling, messaging or turning up at your workplace in a way that frightens you, tell your manager or HR and ask what can be done to keep you safe at work. That might mean screened calls, a warned reception desk or a different way in and out.

If you're in danger, call 999. Free domestic abuse helplines are open 24 hours: 0808 2000 247 in England (Refuge, for women), Live Fear Free 0808 80 10 800 in Wales, 0800 027 1234 in Scotland and 0808 802 1414 in Northern Ireland. Men can call the Men's Advice Line on 0808 801 0327 (weekdays). Samaritans are there any time on 116 123. Our safeguarding page has more help.

Keep a note of each incident with dates and times, in case you need protection later. Our guide to dealing with a difficult ex has more on setting boundaries.

If you're treated unfairly

If you think you've been treated unfairly at work, for example over a flexible working request or time off you're entitled to, start by raising it informally with your manager or HR. If that doesn't work, you can raise a formal grievance under your employer's procedure.

The Acas helpline gives free, confidential advice to employees and employers on 0300 123 1100, Monday to Friday, 8am to 6pm. Your phone provider may charge for the call (Acas).

Before an employment tribunal claim you must notify Acas, which offers early conciliation, a free and voluntary way to try to reach an agreement with your employer (Acas). Time limits are strict. For most claims, the limit went up from 3 months to 6 months on 1 October 2026 (GOV.UK). Raising a grievance doesn't pause the clock, so get advice early. In Northern Ireland, the Labour Relations Agency does this job.

What to do next

Decide who at work you want to know, and have a short conversation with them.
Look up your employer's leave, flexible working and sickness policies.
Put appointment and hearing dates in your diary and book leave early.
Update your address, emergency contact and pension nominations with HR.

If the separation has you thinking about returning to work, increasing your hours or changing career, our work and careers directory lists free careers advice and CV help.

Someone to talk it through with

We can introduce you to therapists and accredited coaches who help people keep going at work and at home through a separation. The introduction is free, and they'll tell you their fees before you agree to anything.

Get matched

Common questions

Do I have to tell my employer I'm getting divorced?

No. There's no legal duty to tell your employer about a divorce or separation. Many people tell their line manager or HR because it makes it easier to ask for time off, flexibility or support, and to update records such as your address and pension nominations.

Can I get time off work for a divorce court hearing?

There's no legal right to time off for a divorce or separation, including court hearings. Most people book annual leave or ask their employer for paid or unpaid time off under its own policies. Time off for dependants only covers unexpected emergencies, so it won't usually apply to a hearing you know about in advance.

Can I ask for flexible working after separating?

Yes. In England, Scotland and Wales every employee can make a statutory flexible working request from their first day in a job. You can make two requests in any 12 months, and your employer must consult you before refusing and give you a decision within two months, unless you both agree to extend that.

Can my manager tell other people about my divorce?

What you tell your employer is personal information, and data protection law means it should only be shared with people who need it, such as HR to put support in place. It's reasonable to agree with your manager who will be told, if anyone, and what they'll be told.

Will my employer find out if I pay child maintenance through my wages?

Yes, payroll will. If the Child Maintenance Service sends your employer a deduction from earnings order, your employer must take the payments from your pay and send them to the service. It's handled by payroll and your line manager doesn't need to know.

Sources

This guide is general information about your rights at work during a divorce or separation, not legal advice. It covers employment law in England, Scotland and Wales; Northern Ireland's rules differ. Your contract and your employer's policies may give you more. Employment law is changing, so check the sources above and get advice from Acas or a qualified adviser about your situation. Facts checked 11 November 2026.

Telling your employer